Mother’s Day 2012
It took me almost two years (after I married your Tatay on June 28, 2008) to finally be convinced to get pregnant. You see, I got brainwashed against getting pregnant. I knew it might ruin my figure, will disrupt my (non-existent) social life, and will force me to wake up early. But most of all, I was afraid of having a baby because I was afraid of loving it too much. So I kept on delaying and delaying, despite the constant prodding of my relatives and friends to get pregnant. A neighbor even politely and shyly asked if we wanted to adopt. I just chuckled because I knew they meant well–that they thought your Tatay and I were unable to conceive.
Finally, in December 2010, your Tatay seriously talked me into getting pregnant. I was hesitant, but I also knew I was bound to have a baby. So in January 2011, your Tatay and I scheduled a meeting with the late Dr. Adelina Barrion. Your Tatay and Lola Emma badly wanted to have a baby girl, and Dr. Barrion was supposed to teach us how to “ensure” that we will have a girl. Dr. Barrion taught us that if we try to conceive pre-ovulation, we will have a girl; otherwise, we are going to have a boy.
In January, your Tatay was excited to get me pregnant (hehe). But I told him to delay it further. He begrudgingly obliged. Then in February, he insisted we try to conceive. It was actually tricky, because it was difficult to determine whether or not I was already ovulating. Copulating waaaaaay before ovulation will not produce a fertilized egg because a woman wouldn’t be fertile at that time (o di ba napaka-scientific). Since we did not want to take the risk of having a boy, we failed and failed. I did not conceive in February, and in March. I started to panic that I was infertile. Your Tatay was not concerned though, but in April, he said, “Bahala na kung ovulating ka na” and tried to conceive.
On May 6, 2010, I was assigned to teach in Indang, Cavite with “Master” Erwin Escobar. I remember including packing sanitary napkins in my bag because I’d been expecting my period to “appear” in one of those days (unlike other women, it has never been my habit to count the days until my next period—I just estimate. I never did so because I never wanted to be even tempted to use the rhythm method, which in my opinion is sooooo unreliable). During lunch break, Erwin and I chatted and he asked me about my plans to have a baby. I said we have just started to try to conceive, and with an impish smile I told him I could be pregnant.
In the evening on the same day, we BRAIN TRAIN teachers (three other teachers were teaching in Dasmarinas, Cavite and we were all staying overnight at the CavSU hotel) decided to have dinner in Tagaytay City. It was a fun night: I remember myself and Rachel Joy Rojas (awww Rach, my first ever “protege”) making fun of Engr. Jennyl Estil (whom I love to “asar” because he always fights back, hahaha!), and having a good chat with Dr. Julius Laban (Julius! I miss you, “Batchmate”!). It was a fun night we had a hearty meal (although when the bill came “Master” Erwin said, “Huh?!? Graaabe ang mahal!”). During the meal, I mentioned casually that I might be pregnant. After our meal, Julius urged me to take a pregnancy test. So we went to a 7-11 store and I bought two pregnancy test kits (I bought two because the only brand 7-11 carries is cheapipay–baka palpak). The instructions said that I should use it in the morning when it’s been quite some time after I’d last peed. Before going to bed, my co-teachers told me, “Balitaan mo kami bukas ha kung ano’ng result”. At around 3 a.m. on May 7, I woke up to pee. Even groggy, I remembered my pregnancy test kit and used it.
Just after a few seconds, I saw two red lines–positive! I smiled, and felt happy and excited. In the morning, I woke up and got dressed early. I immediately went to the male teachers’ quarters and excitedly gave the good news to them. They congratulated me. All through the day, I was smiling and was bursting with the news. But being my usual dramatic self, I decided to hold back and keep it a secret from your Tatay first. So when we went back to Los Banos on that same day, I had to use every ounce of my self-control not to tell your Tatay (who had just arrived from Lucena City naman). At the dinner table, Jennyl and I were talking in codes, and refused to be coaxed to squeal.
The following morning, May 8, was Mother’s Day. I put the pregnancy test kit on your Tatay’s bedside table.
Me to your Tatay: What’s your gift for me?
Tatay: Why? Is it our anniversary?
Tatay: Alam ko hindi natin anniversary, pero ano bang okasyon?
Me: Isipin mo.
Tatay: Ano ba…aaaah…mother’s day? Bakit kita bibigyan ng gift?
Me: (nguso-ing to the PT kit)
Tatay: Ano yan?
Me: Tingnan mo.
Tatay: Ano to?…Pregnancy test? Buntis ka na? (breaking into a smile)
Me: Oo, buntis na ako!
Tatay: Wow!!! Magkaka-baby na ang baby girl ko! (then hugged me)
That Sunday, my best friends, your Ninang Munira, Tita Teta, Ninang Karen, and Tita Maya dropped by our place to visit. I showed them my pregnancy kit and they all happily congratulated me.
And the rest, I say, is history. Of course, Tatay and I are palpak in our quest to have a girl because you turned out to be a testosterone-filled boy (and it is your Tatay’s ardent prayer that you remain that way), but we feel over blessed that you were given to us! To us (especially to your Tatay), you’re perfect and we couldn’t ask for more. The happiness I felt on that Mother’s Day pales in comparison to what I felt on Mother’s Day last year, and the happiness I felt last year pales in comparison to what I feel now. Last night, you kept me up all night and as someone who is tired and wants her forty winks so badly, I should hate you. But your quick grin as you do your usual likot gives me sheer joy. With you, I realize the essence of the many cliches I’ve heard about motherhood. I used to think that a mom’s love is overrated with all the adulations about motherhood and a mom’s love. But know what? All those quotes are still not enough to express to you how much I love you. I’ll never be a perfect Nanay: I’ll bake you overcooked or under cooked cookies (and expect you to eat them), sew your clothes badly, might not give you as much attention as you want, snub your future girlfriend, push you too much to be an Oblation scholar (here I go again, hehe), or unwittingly embarass you after your attempts to be cool in front of your peers. But know this anak: my and your Tatay’s lives revolve around making sure you get the best.
I love you Raviv, and thank you for YOURSELF–the best gift God could ever give me on Mother’s Day.
With love, love, and lots and lots of love,
Tell me what you think!
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