You’ll appreciate this post better if you read this first:
If you’re a fan of hers, stop reading.
Image lifted from floppe.deviantart.com
It used to be that I liked seeing Kirsten Dunst on the silverscreen. Not in the same way that I do when I watch Leighton Meester on Gossip Girl, or the girls in Pretty Little Liars. I watch Leighton and the PLL girls because I love looking at their clothes and pretty faces.
The PLL girls. It’s always a feast for my eyes whenever I watch PLL!
P’wedeng bawasan ang ganda and pagka-fab Leighton?
Image grabbed from fragafrisoren.wordpress.com
But not Kirsten. I liked watching her portray leading lady roles or roles that hint she’s beautiful because…because in my honest and not-so-humble opinion, she’s not really pretty. Hindi nakaka-insecure masyado. Nagkakaro’n ako at sampu ng mga ibang kababaihan ng fantasy na pwede rin kaming maging Hollywood leading ladies. Hukhukhukhuk!
Before I go further, lemme just clarify: it’s not that she’s ugly, not even that she’s not the least pretty (she actually has these beautiful emerald-green eyes!)…it’s just that I think she’s not THAT pretty. At least, not classically beautiful. She may be charming and cute, but definitely miles and miles behind so many other Hollywood leading ladies.
BUUUUUT!!! I hate her now. As in I do. Mang–aagaw siya.
Last Thursday evening, Raviv was watching Spider-Man (as usual). He smiled when he saw Kirsten Dunst, who portrayed MJ (aka Mary Jane Watson, the love of Spider-Man’s life). Then I asked my son…
Me: Raviv, is MJ pretty?
Ngumiti ang bagets.
Me: Baby, who’s prettier: Nanay or MJ?
Raviv: MJ and Nanay.
Me: Choose only one. Nanay or MJ?
Raviv: Pretty si Nanay (at natuwa ako)…at si MJ!
Me: Isa lang anak! Nanay or MJ?
Raviv: Si MJ.
Hu-waaaaaaat?!?!? Noooooo! My goodness! As early as now ipinagpapalit na ako ni Raviv-o!!! This is a first time. He would always, always, always choose me. The only time he’d have second thoughts is when it’s between Randy and me. Pero carry lang even if and when he chooses Randy, as it is Randy who spoils him. Pero ang ipagpalit ako kay Kristen Dunst?!? What a travesty!!! A blasphemy of mother and son love, and of judgment of beauty (hihihi)!!!
Here are the pieces of evidence that my unico hijo blasphemed the bond between us. Aaand, insulted his Nanay’s timeless beauty:
Exhibit A, your Honors:
OK. OK. OK. Tama nga naman si Ninang Light. Baka naasar lang kasi ginising ko. Let’s ask him again at his lucid moments. Here’s Exhibit B, your Honors:
Did you see his tender and kinikilig smile towards the end of the video?!? How dare thee, Anak! How dare thee!!!
And it didn’t stop there. On Thursday night as he was drinking his milk, he asked for his kunut.
Raviv: Kunut Nanay, kunut!
Me: (hatching an evil plan) Sabihin mo muna, ‘Ayoko kay MJ”…
Raviv: Gusto ko si MJ! Gusto ko si MJ! Gusto ko si MJ!!! (He said this sternly!)
At lumabas ang Randy sa kwarto para ipamalita how Raviv stood up for MJ! My gas!
At ito pa! The following day I was asking Raviv to do something, but he did not want to obey. i threatened him.
Me: Sige Baby, aawayin ko si MJ!
Raviv: (looking serious, hurt and sad) Nanay, ‘wag mo awayin si MJ. Love ko ‘yun.
Graaaabeeee!!! Ipinagmakaawa ng anak ko si MJ!!!
Joke-joke lang ito pero…ITS HURT! ITS HURT ALL LOTS!!! Ganito pala ang feeling. It used to be that I found it repulsive when moms were too attached to their sons, and vice-versa. But now I get it when moms get jealous of the other girls in their sons’ lives. Ito nga artista lang. And in defense of Raviv, Randy said,
“’Yaan mo na. S’yempre iniisip niya kasi ‘di ba na s’ya si Spider-Man? E ‘di ba love na love kasi ni Spider-Man si MJ. Ako nga dati nung naging leading lady ni Dolphy si Charo Santos naging crush ko rin nga si Charo Santos.”
Ah…erm…Ow-kaaaay. So ang una ko palang karibal kay Randy ay si Charo Santos.
At dahil diyan, wala na akong masabi. Tatawa muna ako.
Tell me what you think!
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