Party Pooper Parents

Two Sundays ago, Raviv attended a bonggels birthday party without Randy and without me. It was the first birthday and christening celebration of the baby girl of an acquaintance (whom I hope to be a lot closer to in the future), Lindsay Abcede-Sese.

Lindsay invited me months before the party. We were never really close but there were instances when we talked years ago about dogs (she and Randy belonged to the same canine club), and she was always super nice! Walang kaere-ere! Thus I told her Raviv will definitely come even if we can’t (it was scheduled on a Sunday…and you all know how crazy our weekends are!)

Since our Sundays have been pretty flexible lately, Randy and I thought we could attend the par-tey with Raviv. The Friday before the party, I learned that the guests are requested to wear a superhero costume because the theme was superheroes. I got more excited for my Ravivo!

On Saturday—a day before the party—we learned that Randy and I both had six-hour classes the following day! Bummer! That means we can’t accompany Raviv. But we really want Raviv to go because the theme was his thing! Good thing that one of my best friends and one of Raviv’s ninangs, Chrysanthemum Collado, was also attending the party. So I asked her to take care of Raviv and Yaya Isay on the party.

When Raviv learned he was attending a party and will be dressed as Spiderman, he was beyond excited. In fact, right after he took a bath he was drumming on the Spidey costume—motioning that it was time for his transformation!

But alas! Raviv asked to fetched from the party too soon. According to Yaya Isay, the party was spectacular—there were lotsa superhero mascots (pero wala si Spidey, sayang), a magic show, a bubble show, activities on the kids’ table, and super delicious foods…but Raviv was matamlay. He was unusually behaved yet restless.

Alam ko ‘to—he missed his Tatay and his Nanay. Just like when he was at Enchanted Kingdom and I urged Randy to separate from him (Raviv) so we could ride the scary rides, and when he attended another swimming party last summer sans Randy and me. Matamlay talaga siya when neither Randy nor I am with him and he’s surrounded by strangers.

I hate doing that to him—not being with him when he’s out to have fun. I know the feeling, because I have busy, working parents. I remember being jealous of schoolmates whose moms were just making tambay and chika with the other moms while waiting for their kids’ dismissal. These kids never had to budget their allowances because they would just have to ask their folks to buy them whatever they want. I can’t help but compare how Mom would just hail a tricycle and tell the trike driver to drop me off at my school. I remember wanting to cry—I was just five years old! And then there were our field trips. My brother and I used to go on field trips with just a helper. I remember a time when our P100 allowance was not enough to buy us lunch at Jollibee during a field trip (as we had packed lunch)…good thing that our companion picked up extra money while we were walking! But I could not help but think how we would never run out of money if Mom or Dad were with us.

But on second thought, those “I-feel-oh-so-alone” moments somehow taught me to be strong and independent. It taught me to muster courage when I thought I had none, and have some pride and stop wallowing in self-pity.

Randy and I dote on Raviv so much…Randy, more especially. So I guess these moments—moments that force us to let Raviv be on his own and learn to be independent—is also good. I should stop feeling guilty now.