I am so eager for 2014 to finally be over, because it hasn’t been very good to me (and up to the last minute: I’m gonna greet the New Year with the firecracker-like coughs!) I lost so much this year.
On New Year’s Eve last year, this was my message, quoted from Neil Gaiman:
I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.
Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re Doing Something.
So that’s my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody’s ever made before. Don’t freeze, don’t stop, don’t worry that it isn’t good enough, or it isn’t perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.
Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, Do it.
Make your mistakes, next year and forever.
I so regret posting that. From now on I’ll be more careful about what I “wish for”, kahit pa-effect lang or pa-witty kuno lang. The fates conspired and indeed, I made so many mistakes this year. Or the people around me. That’s why so much was lost.
Here’s a list of Top 5 Things (Boo!!!) That 2014 Took From Me
5. Our Longtime Helpers – Midway this year, Alona and Peter left us to start a new life together as common-law husband and wife in Mindanao. Alona has been with us ever since before Randy and I even got married and shortly after, Peter joined our family. Her leaving left such a void because she really was more like a family to us. We would share gossip, go to ukay-ukay together, have petty tampuhan, etc.
I miss her all the more this holiday season, because we used to spend the whole day on Christmas and New Year’s Eve poring over recipe books trying to cook new special dishes for Noche Buena and Media Noche.
Although we miss her so much, this is only #5 because she left to chase her dreams. And I am hopeful that she will return, someday.
4. My gadgets – I’ve not lost a gadget for a looooong time, but this year quota na ako for several years! This year I lost my two-month old iPad mini—how and where aren’t clear until now. Then less than a month after, I lost my reliable, full-of-memories Samsung Galaxy S3 in Hong Kong. I am salivating over the new iPhone 6 Plus, but I know I have to be punished for my carelessness. Thank God for my pwede-na-rin Lenovo A536.
3. Brain Train Family Members Who Went Abroad – This year I lost Pau and Pong, two of the closest Brain Train teachers to me. More than employees, they were good friends and we really consider them family. At some point in their lives they lived with us, so it was inevitable for us to be close. They made our lives colorful and fun. And even though Randy and I were their mentors (I to Pong and Randy to Pau), we also learned so much from them.
Guys, kung nasaan man kayo…sana malaman ninyong hinding-hindi namin kayo kinakalimutan. (Actually alam ko kung nasaan kayo, hahaha!)
Pong’s Epic Farewell Party
It is of course sad to see them go, but we are also happy for them and proud of them.
2. Brain Train Family Members Who Just… – I can’t continue because I don’t know how to describe what happened. Let’s just say that there were people whom we truly loved and valued. Unfortunately, I guess the feelings were not mutual. One of them just decided that bashing us was the most fun thing to do, while the other just decided to ignore us and the responsibilities he left behind. They may no longer think of us, or if they do they do so without any fondness, but I honestly feel bad things turned out that way. If you are reading this, I hope you know that we loved and cherished you. And I admit that until now, I still think of you.
Speaking of employees vanishing into thin air, hay naku please let me rant. You know the teacher who trained with me? Homaygaaad, she’s the worst ever! Anyway, 1.5 months into the training and one day she just texted me asking when her training is going to end. I told her I didn’t know since it wasn’t for me to say whether she’s ready. Then she told me she wanted it to stop because she thinks she’s ready and she needs salary already. Mind you guys, her trainers said she still left much to be desired. I’ve already given her one month’s worth of allowance, and I was just waiting for her to give me the receipt of her fares and meals so I could reimburse. Honestly, her allowances (fixed allowance plus transpo and meal allowances) may even be bigger than the salary we agreed upon (and Sweetheart if you’re reading this, may I quote what you said during the interview? You said, “Naku Ma’am alam ko naman po na ‘pag teacher talaga hindi malaki ang sweldo. Sabi nga po kahit saan naman ako pumunta halos pare-pareho lang ang sweldo, hindi talaga malaki ‘pag tracher. Pero gusto ko po talaga ito, 3x na akong nag-apply sa G*******. Ipinag-pray at nag-fasting pa nga po ako kung ito talaga ang will ni God sa akin.”)
I’m sorry I’m ranting so much. It’s just that every time I remember what she did to me, my blood begins to boil. I was keeping my temper in control every time she arrived late, decided not to train because of personal matters, forgot her schedule, etc. I stretched my patience, as in…and then this! I hate dragging faith and religion every time a person errs, but my goodness—one of the reasons I hired her was because she’s a Sunday school teacher AND leads a group of women in a church I respect. But this girl just went AWOL, changed her number, did not refund the “measly” allowance she got from me, and still has not returned the uniform she got (and did not unfriend me on Facebook BUT hides her posts from me. Yes, Sweetheart, I know what you’re doing.) Marami pa siyang ibang atraso that I won’t mention anymore because it just makes me rile.
You know, if your boss isn’t treating you well, blame people like those mentioned here. It’s not that employers want to api their employees, really.
1. Deaths of a Young Old Friend and a (Not-so) Old New Friend – this December two men close to my heart passed away.
First, it was my kababata, John Rey Malacad. It has been a loooong time since we last talked (as in really talk), but my childhood memories would not have been complete without him. We lived on the same street and our parents are good friends. As kids, we used to go carolling together and wait for New Year together. As teenagers, we shared love life stories. I regret not spending time with him during the last instances I went home. It was incomprehensible for me for someone so full of life and love to pass away so young.
And then just yesterday, a text message shattered me: our building contractor, Engr. Reynaldo Monserrat, passed away. I couldn’t believe it! Just a few days ago we were texting, I was asking him when I was gonna see him again. He said he was in the hospital. I distinctly remembered wanting to text him, “Pagaling po kayo!” when he said he was in the hospital. But I decided to go for a feeble, “Thanks po!” because the “Pagaling po kayo” might be too pa-close. Now I regret not texting it. It may not have prevented his demise, but it may have made him feel I cared for him.
For everyone’s information, Engr. Monserrat is instrumental to making Gymboree Sta. Rosa and Raviv’s birthday party a success. He’s always been patient with my demands and requests. I became closer to him because I used to ride with him to Los Banos from Sta. Rosa. During those one-hour trips, I would of course interview him non-stop.
The last time I saw him was two days before Raviv’s birthday. I gave him the invitation, and told him he should be there. He said he’ll try because he had an appointment on that day as well. I was happy because even though there were still some finishing touches to be made, he did a very good job. Even Randy said so. And now he’s gone, and his family is going to say goodbye not just to 2014, but to him as well.
If Randy reads this post, he’s gonna tell me again that other people would think I’m being petty, whining about things that mean nothing to people who really had problems. And for that, I thank God for my petty problems. And because still, good things came with those losses.
Thank God because Alona and Peter were able to leave us—that means their stay with us bore them fruits.
Thank God because I lost my gadgets. Just my gadgets. Losing them also reminded me to be more careful of my things.
Thank God for the opportunities you gave Pong and Pau. We’d like to think that somehow, their training with us may have helped them achieve their goals. Also, because when we go to Europe and Japan, we’re going to have gracious hosts. Hohoho!
Thank God for the people who hurt us, because we appreciate loyal people all the more.
And as for the deaths of people close to my heart, I still don’t understand why they had to die this early, but thank you God because we know you have a plan.
Less than two hours to go before 2015. I pray it will be a better for all of us.
Happy New Year everyone!