A cool, breezy, Paskung-Pasko-na-talaga Thursday everyone! In fairness to the typhoon, naging malamig na sa wakas ang simoy ng hangin! How I wish the weather is always like this: not much rain, cool breeze blowing, and sun not shining fiercely.
My heart has been full of glee and thanksgiving since yesterday. But before the happy vibes, I was worried. Mostly about 2 things. Umpisahan na natin ang chika.
On Tuesday, Randy received a message from Xavier School that we can alreay pick-up the results of Raviv’s kindergarten entrance test on Wednesday morning. Kinabahan ako. Randy told me he firmly believes that Raviv aced his exam, eh matalino naman daw ‘yung anak namin. And I know that a kid doesn’t have to be extraordinarily smart to get accepted there. Average would even suffice. But still, I got nervous. I know that Raviv could be naughty at times—‘yung tipong alam n’ya ang sagot pero mali ‘yung sasabihin. Just for fun. 😛
The following morning (Wednesday), Typhoon Nona intensified. Classes were still suspended but I went to Gymboree to prepare for the Christmas party on Thursday (today). But I couldn’t work. I can’t help but think of Raviv’s exam result. I was blaming myself, “Ayan, nag-blog-blog ka pa sa pagkuha ng exam ni Raviv! Dapat kasi sikreto na lang at ‘pag pumasa na saka mo ni-blog. Pa’no ‘yan kung hindi pumasa? Sasabihin mo ba sa mga tao na hindi pumasa o magkukunwari kang pumasa pero ayaw mo dun paaralin?” Waaaah! Coincidentally, the trending issue these days pa is Mar Roxas’s mythical(?) Wharton graduate degree. Plus the release of the 2015 Philippine Science High School National Competitive Exam (PSHS-NCE) results (Brain Train has 47 passers! Wew! ;)) So all the more I was agitated. I thought again to myself, “Inday, kung kinder entrance test pa lang sa Xavier lagpak na ‘yang anak mo, paáno pa kung high school? At kalimutan mo na rin ang Wharton na ‘yan.”
So just after a few minutes of working, hindi ko na kinaya. I went to Xavier immediately. In the car, I was blabbing. I was telling our driver (but mostly myself), “Kung hindi pasado si Raviv sa Xavier, hindi naman ibig sabihin nun bobo s’ya ‘di ba? Kasi baka niloko-loko n’ya lang ‘yung exam. Alam mo naman ‘yung batang ‘yun.” I could hear my inner, more rational self telling me, “Ayan na, you’re becoming the kind of mom you hate—the one who always makes an excuse for her child.” As I walked towards the Registrar to get Raviv’s result, I felt like my heart was going to leave my chest. Gravity!!! I tried to recall whether I felt like this when I was waiting news from Dad about my UPCAT result. Hindi eh. I knew without a hint of doubt I’d pass the UPCAT (yeeees confident!) Walang kaba-kaba whatsoever. Partida, I didn’t even take any other college entrance test (meaning sa kangkungan ako pupulutin kung hindi ako pumasa sa UPCAT). But I wasn’t the least nervous. And then when Dad told me I passed, deadmabelles. I just smiled and ate my breakfast. Walang drama, walang celebration. Normal lang. Pero ito, my goodness! Entrance exam lang sa Kinder. Sa private school pa na mahal ang tuition. Kung tutuusin, parang imposibleng hindi pumasa. Guanine pal ‘pag nana ka na ‘no? Naa-activate ang ka-OA-an.
Now back to Raviv’s exam result. When I was handed the envelope that held Raviv’s kindergarten fate, my hands were shaking as I opened the envelope. Gravity! But as soon as I saw the word “Congratulations!”, my insides were shouting, “Ÿeah!!!”, with matching fist pump! Ehmergerd!!! Nakahinga na ako nang maluwag!!! Whew!
Then in the afternoon, I remembered I had to take an ultrasound to have my breasts checked. Lumungkot uli ako. See, in October I went to my OB to have my annual pap smear. To tell her na rin of our plan to try to conceive sometime soon. Yes mothers, if you’re planning to get pregnant, go to your OB na and get checked. So aside from the pap smear, she checked my breasts. She said something was lumpy, and asked whether I have a history of cancer in my family. Sadly, the answer is yes. Two of my mom’s sisters are cancer survivors. So my OB was adamant that I get an ultrasound (I heard that if you have cancer and you get pregnant, your cancer would grow worse). Randy kept bugging me to get the ultrasound ASAP (I kept on forgetting). And so that afternoon I went to the The Medical City-South Luzon.
Fortunately, there was an available doctor who could administer the ultrasound. The doctor seemed to feel my nervousness, then told me that after the exam she will tell me the results. I was nervous all throughout. Everytime she would linger on a certain part, all the more I’d get nervous. I was thinking, “Since I got good news this morning, would I get bad news this afternoon? Nasagad ko na ba ang blessings ni Lord?” Gravity. Kung anu-ano na ang naiisip ko! After the exam, the doctor told me, “OK naman. Walang problema.” Yeees!!! Praise you, Lord!!!
Then today, we had a fun Christmas party at school. It was such a fun party, promise! As if my good news yesterday weren’t enough, my heart just overflowed with gratitude because of the number of gifts I received.
In my entire adult life, I don’t remember any other day when I received this many gifts all at once (except on our wedding, of course). At each time a child would approach me with a gift, I would bask in that wonderful moment. Until now, I haven’t opened any of the presents. I don’t care what’s inside—I’m just too happy looking at them!
Tonight, my bestfriends and I had dinner together.
As we were talking, my friend Zaira mentioned that she sometimes feels guilty when she asks something from God, especially because so many other people are suffering. I told her that she shouldn’t feel shy or guilty, because God loves it even more when you’re “successful” yet you acknowledge that you still need Him. It also dawned on me what I was thinking of yesterday: because Raviv passed his exam in Xavier, I was afraid I would have a lump in my breast. Good news, bad news. That’s what I thought. But the good news is that God isn’t like that. He has a limitless supply of everything, and as our Father who loves us, he likes it when we talk to Him and when we acknowledge that without Him, we are nothing. And of course, He likes blessing us. Not just once, not just twice, but all the time. 🙂
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
John 15:5 I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.
Tell me what you think!
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