I have a blog post that has been sitting on my drafts folder for months now. It’s filled with my raw emotions, because I wrote it hours after reading some posts on my Facebook newsfeed mocking God. I read the posts during the time I was full of angst and almost had no passion for God. But the funny thing was that instead of shaking my faith, the posts mocking God were what brought me down on my knees, back into His loving and forgiving arms. I was hurt for my God. I wanted to cradle Him in my arms and tell Him everything will be alright, and that these people will eventually discover how great He is. I also asked for forgiveness because I know I’ve been hurting Him with my apathy the past days.
I was angry, and I wanted to call out: Why do you have to lambast my God? What is so great about it? Why do you have to use Him? To be controversial? To be funny? To show the world you are no fool for believing in “fairy tales”? To make you look smarter? I wanted to be rabid to defend the God who has always been with me. I thought to myself that if I get angry it will be justified, Haller, kung ‘yung KathNiel at AlDub nga naipagtatanggol ng fans nila…e Diyos ko ito!
Good thing I took a step back and talked to someone who also felt my pain, but now sees with clarity. Respond with love, she told me. Just as God responded to our many offenses. We have undergone the same “rebellion”, right? And I did, with the help of our loving God. I’m no longer angry, and all I want is for these people to experience the glory of feeling Jesus’ love.
I admit that mocking posts about God made me step backwards—not in my faith—but in my enthusiasm to share His greatness. To begin with, I was already a closet Christian. In my heart, I believed in Him. But I had so much difficulty sharing my faith to the world.
Two reasons, mainly.
First, I know how much of a sinner I am. I know myself, and I know how awful I was. Am, and could be. I feel like if I share the gospel, more people would be turned off to have a relationship with Jesus. I’ve hurt so many people, and I inwardly cringe whenever I remember the things I’ve done. Remember when Georgina Sparks returns from a Born Again Christian Bootcamp in Gossip Girl? Exactly.
But one day at church, something the pastor flashed on the screen shamed me, but then later gave me hope:
Based on human law, I could be a saint vis-a-vis many of these great men and women of the Bible. For crying out loud—Paul, who wrote most of the books in the New Testament, started out by murdering Jesus Christ’s believers.
Indeed, God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
As for my second excuse, I was afraid that by sharing Him, I’ll be ridiculed and laughed at. I will be “uncool”, backwards, and addle-brained (apparently studies show that people with higher IQ are atheists). If I were a doctor at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital, I do not want to be the overly giddy and naive Christian April Kepner; I want to be a rockstar like Cristina Yang, getting nominated for (and rightful winner of) a Harper-Avery, (thanks to her abortion and divorce)!
But something that this atheist comedian Penn Jillette said struck a chord in me:
“I’ve always said that I don’t respect people who don’t proselytize…. If you believe that there’s a heaven and a hell, and people could be going to hell or not getting eternal life, and you think that it’s not really worth telling them this because it would make it socially awkward – and atheists who think people shouldn’t proselytize and who say just leave me alone and keep your religion to yourself – how much do you have to hate somebody to not proselytize? How much do you have to hate somebody to believe everlasting life is possible and not tell them that?
“I mean, if I believed, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that a truck was coming at you, and you didn’t believe that truck was bearing down on you, there is a certain point where I tackle you. And this is more important than that. (Thank you Ernilyn Brown for sharing this)
Dear friends, I am sharing my God to you all not because I scoff at anyone’s immorality. Neither do I think that by “converting” you, you will have a moral compass. Nor because I believe that my beliefs are superior over yours. Not because sharing the Gospel will make me look good. No, no, no, no, no.
If you see me post more Bible verses, quotes about and praises to God, it’s because of love. Love for you, and love for my God.
I honestly believe that Jesus is the way, the truth and the light, and that no one comes to the Father except through him. I believe Jesus died on the cross to pay for our sins, and that believing in this and surrendering our lives to him will give us eternal life. And because I love you, I just have to tell you that.
There will also be times when my heart will fill with an overpowering love for my God that I would NEED to share to anyone who cares to listen how great He is. I would be full of gratitude and awe that would excite me to share my awesome God with you. Parang ‘yung ma eskena lang ng AlDub na kinailangang mag-trending sa Twitter. Ganun lang ‘yun, walang halong pa-holier-than-thou effect. 😉
It may irritate you when I do this. But I will still do it, because of love. My love, and His love.
The story of Jesus is no fairy tale. It is the greatest love story ever told.