Have I told you I’m naturally a stoic person?
Randy has expressed his surprise by how stoic I can be. For example, when we’re watching a comedy show and he’s already laughing out loud, the most you could get from me is a grin. ‘Pag napa-smile ako sa comedy, that means nakakatawa na talaga ‘yun.
Then when we’re watching horror films, Randy complained that of all the women/girls he’s been with, I was the only one who didn’t hug him during scary scenes. I would just stiffen, hold my breath, and wait for the scary scene to finish—that’s it. My dilated pupils are the only giveaway that I got scared.
The only time I’m not too stoic is when it comes to drama. Mababaw ang luha ko sa drama. I’ve never watched “My Girl” without shedding a bucket of tears. But even then, I cry very, very quietly. Like when Randy and I watched “A Walk to Remember”.
It’s actually the first movie that Randy and I watched, and one of my and Randy’s first dates.
I’m sure you know that “A Walk to Remember” is such a tearjerker, right? When I felt tears forming in my eyes, I rested my head on Randy’s shoulder. Then tears just rolled and rolled, but not a sob escaped from my lips. Randy told me that all throughout, he was embarrassed because he was getting emotional while his date seemed deadma. I guess he sighed with relief when after the movie he realized that his sleeves were so wet with tears and saw that my eyes were swollen. Hehe.
Anyway highway expressway and Skyway, another example of my stoicism that impresses Randy is that when blood is drawn from me or whenever I get injections, I would watch with a blank expression on my face. No screams, no tears, nothing. Papanoorin ko pa.
HOWEVER (all caps para intense!), all my walls crumbled recently. I realized that I wasn’t so stoic or brave after all. Lumabas ang pagkaduwag ko last Thursday.
See, my orthodontist put new brackets on my molars last Monday. Since then, I’ve had difficulty eating, as I couldn’t chew well. On Thursday evening, I bought durian because it’s easy to eat—I could easily swallow it without chewing. I was famished when I got home, so I wanted to open the durian ASAP. I didn’t know it was so difficult to open a durian! With my left hand pushing the knife down and my right hand holding the durian, I was cutting the durian’s thick, prickly skin. Then SWOOSH–the knife slid off my left hand and sliced my right hand! It cut the part between my thumb and index finger.
It was such a deep wound, and blood spurted profusely. I even saw a bubble form from my blood. Daig pa ang NAWASA sa lakas ng tulo ng dugo! I didn’t know what to do, I just went to the sink. Yaya Isay saw me and even she panicked and shouted for help. Randy brought cotton balls, but the cotton balls on my wound started to turn crimson within a few seconds. I pushed more cotton balls sealed with a medical plaster and then the bleeding stopped.
During dinner, I had no appetite. Nanlalambot ako everytime I remember my deep wound. I never thought I was still affected by wounds!
Before sleeping, I wanted to put a new cotton on my wound. But when I removed the cotton, blood started gushing again. Raviv even cried when he saw me—he said he was afraid I might die, hehe. I had a difficult time sleeping that night because my wound hurt like crazy.
The following day, I took a bath late because I was scared to remove the old cotton from my wound. In fact, I had to psych myself so I could muster the courage to remove it. Well, blood no longer gushed (thank God!), but the sight made me cringe even more—my wound was really deep and gaping…kita ko na ‘yung mga laman-laman ko (sorry kung kinikilabutan kayo!) I messaged Camielle, one of the Brain Train teachers who’s only a month away from being a full-fledged doctor (yiheee!!!), and discussed my wound with her. She strongly suggested I have my wound stitched.
I silently cursed. I was scared of being stitched. But Camielle insisted—baka raw ma-infect at mas matagal ang suffering ko. I thought titiisin ko na lang ang matagal na healing, tarot talaga ako magpa-stitch! But I thought of gangrene and having an ugly scar. And children who get stitches all the time.
Putakti, sige na nga!
I went to the hospital ER and asked the doctor-in-charge to check my wound, hoping against hope that I won’t need to be stitched. But he said I needed it. May anesthesia naman daw.
The anesthesia was injected directly into my would and it hurt like hell!!! When it was time to stitch me up, I begged the nurse not to leave me. As in, “Nurse, can I hold you please?” ang drama ko. The kind nurse said pwede ko raw s’yang saktan if that would comfort me, hehehe. And I refused to look at the stitching process already!
Anyway, the stitching no longer hurt, thanks to the anesthesia. In fact, halfway through, I looked at my hand being stitched. I was back to being my brave, stoic self, yahoo! Even when I was injected an anti-tetanus jab, I was feeling smug already. I have overcome my fear. 🙂 🙂 🙂
Or so I thought.
BECAUSE WHEN I PAID MY HOSPITAL BILL, A MOUTHFUL OF EXPLETIVES WAS AT THE TIP OF MY TONGUE—MY BILL WAS Php4,100!!!
Whaaaat?!?! P4,100 na ‘yun!?!? Plus I needed to buy 14 pieces of antibiotic worth P300+ each!!! GRABE, GRABE, GRABE!!!
Now my phobia in getting stitched is more intense than ever, kasi sobrang sakit sa bulsa!