Hello!!! Thank you all for your birthday greetings last September 25. Each greeting made me feel special, and probably helped veer me away from the unexpected meltdown I had two years ago. Days before my birthday, I was actually engulfed with a sense of trepidation. That’s because I had nothing to look forward to on my birthday: no party, no staycation…nothing that would make me feel like I was uber special on that day. When Sept. 25th ended, I was happy that I survived my ordinary birthday.
It could be because Randy gave me a gift I truly love:
It could also be because Raviv was such a funny and thoughtful boy and I just feel so blessed he’s my son.
It may also be because, finally, I have matured. Both emotionally (nuks!) and physically (waaah!!!) That’s why even though 34 years is not classically a milestone year, I feel that it is for me. I felt so many changes in me. Later on this post, I’ll talk about them. These are not earth-shattering changes, but significant changes nonetheless. For the meantime, let’s just talk about physically getting mature.
Actually, I had a plan for my 34th birthday. I told Randy that it was gonna be a “PROJECT: Prettify Dewmaine” day. The past months, I have been feeling soooo ugly. As in PANGET. Thanks but no thanks to my ugly braces that only magnified my chakaness (thank God I only have to bear with my braces for 4-5 months!) So part of my PROJECT: Prettify Dewmaine was finally going to a dermatologist to do something to delay my aging. It may be costly, but then I figured my skin had never ever been “alagang derma” or received any pag-aalaga for that matter. It probably needs help already.
Randy accompanied me to the Belo Clinic in Westgate, Alabang.
Randy and I were surprised that on a Monday morning, Belo was buzzing with people. It was a good thing that one regular client cancelled an appointment, because it never occurred to me to reserve an appointment. Grabe, normal na pala talaga magpaganda these days! I felt more resolved to get expert help to delay my skin aging. My skin was checked by the derma. She recommended Thermage, a revolutionary non-surgical laser treatment for lifting and tightening skin by utilizing radio frequency to stimulate the body’s natural renewal process. I was OK with it, because it has no downtime and I would still be myself—it won’t alter how I look like. I love that the process would just stimulate my skin to produce more collagen. As far as I understand it, I won’t be putting anything foreign into my face. Results are not that instantaneous, because the body needs time to produce collagen. Parang nag-vitamins ka lang, ganun. Sounds good, ‘di ba?
‘Yun lang, it’s really expensive. I need to brace myself first for something that expensive. Aside from Thermage, the derma also recommended fillers. Chin fillers, to be exact, para raw mas gumanda ako. To be honest, I was surprised. Talaga, mas maganda ako kung mahaba ang baba ko?!? I’m not planning to follow this. Because by doing that, kung gumanda man ako, hindi na ako ‘yun. I don’t I will feel so good about that. Plus, pa’no kung pangit ang labas? Remember what happened to Arci Munoz? 🙁
We left Belo without having anything done, just a list of recommendations and corresponding prices. Because I felt that nothing happened, Randy brought me to Bang’s Tony & Jacket in Solenad to have my roots colored and to revive my digiperm.
At least may nangyari on my birthday.
Now let’s talk about my emotional maturity. When I reached my 34th birthday, I realized that I have matured because of the following changes/milestones:
1. After YEARS of procrastination, I finally had two important things done: I finally got my driver’s license and I finally got braces. Aaaaaand…kahit papa’no medyo regular na akong nag-e-exercise. O ‘di ba?!? I have finally accepted that my metabolism is no longer the same as it was. Dati kasi, I would just lose weight without doing anything at all. For a long time, I was hopeful that this was gonna happen again. But now I have accepted that indeed, I’ve become…(gulp) OLD. Titang-tita na talaga.
2. I value my family husband than other people now. As an introverted extrovert, I love being with friends and colleagues. It used to be that I seemed to have valued friends and colleagues more than Randy. I wanted to please them more than I wanted to please my husband. But not anymore. I realized that “friends” come and go. When they no longer need you or if having you in their lives becomes inconvenient for them, they will cast you aside. Worse, they’ll forget all the good times and focus on the bad and bash you. True story, right? But my husband has put up with me and has been there for me through and through, so I promised myself I’ll always be on his side. I think valuing your husband more is a sign of maturity, don’t you think?
3. I’ve learned to not to take all criticisms seriously. I used to think that taking criticisms seriously is good because that means you’re willing to improve. I still listen to criticisms and suggestions from sensible people who I know care for me. Emphasis on sensible and who I know care for me. But coming from mema (as in memasabi lang) people who’ve made nitpicking a hobby, deadmadela na.
4. Parties tire me out now more they excite me. You’ve probably read on this blog that I love the stress of organizing big parties. Not anymore. Kapagod na. I no longer like to throw lavish and huge parties to impress people I barely know. When I want a thanksgiving celebration, I now prefer quiet, intimate gatherings. Just with the people I really care about.
5. I now choose my battles wisely. Once upon a time, my motto was “Kapag may katwiran, ipaglaban mo.” I would offensively impose my rights and things that are technically correct. I would take time lecturing people, giving them my “wisdom”. But not anymore. I realize now that people sometimes need to learn from their mistakes to actually live, and people are different. We have different wants, needs and beliefs. It takes some people a longer period of time to realize what’s inherently right or wrong, and some people will never learn to see things the way I see them. This is why I now refrain from posting know-it-all and holier-than-thou sounding “advice” on Facebook.
What i’m sad about this year is that my relationship with God has regressed. I still believe, respect and fear God, but I haven’t giving Him time. I hope that on my 35th birthday, being closer to Him will be on top of my list of good changes in my life. Plus being a brand new mom to a healthy, beautiful baby girl.
Again, thanks to everyone who remembered me on my birthday, even for just a fleeting second. Love you all!!!