Last week as I was checking my Facebook feed, I stumbled upon this quote on one of my friend’s timeline:
Though I see so many quotes on social media, this definitely caught my attention because I can relate. Super relate.
Kwentuhan ko kayo.
You know between the last quarter of 2016 and the first quarter of 2017, there was a super toxic person in my life. I couldn’t believe the vitriol she had for me and my associates, because we have been nothing but sincerely kind to her and her loved ones. Emphasis on sincerely.
She started with some seemingly well meaning suggestions, which we would address when directed to us. And then she would spew criticisms about us (to other people) that we thought were constructive. Because we sincerely cared, we addressed the concerns she raised (to other people). Plus to be honest, my associates and I are open to suggestions. We know we are not perfect. At kung sa ikai-improve ba eh at kaya namang gawan ng paraan, why not? That’s our motto.
But then little by little, we realized that she did not want to help us improve: she was merely nitpicking. Every. Single. Thing. Parang excited siya every time we commit a mistake, no matter how mundane. She was out to paint a bad image of us, because she wanted to sway other people to leave us and go away with her.
While she was in our own territory, she took intense pleasure giving malice to everything. Gravity! It almost came to a point when she seemed to have swayed the people to her side. But when we had a dialogue with them, they themselves realized how nonsense the “concerns” were. Nahiya nga sila that they requested to talk to us just because of the list that the toxic person asked them to raise (toxic person did not talk to us).
After we talked to her “recruits”, she worsened. She wanted more recruits and was bolder in proclaiming her malicious statements. More than once, gustung-gusto nang pumatol ng associates ko.
Ako rin, sa totoo lang.
But I surprised myself because I was the one telling my associates not to do anything anymore. I told them that her “recruits” were not stupid.
My theory is that when a negastar starts spewing out vitriols, people might believe at first. But when the “recruits” realize that all they hear is negativity and their happy disposition gets dampened when the negastar is present, they will start to resent the negastar.
I told them that if we make patol (sorry for the conyo-ness!), we were stooping to her level. I had a difficult time convincing my associates (and myself!) to stay above it all because our instinct talaga was to defend our puri (hehehe).
It did not take that long that I was proven right, thank goodness! The toxic person’s “recruits” did not join her in going away, much to her dismay. The “recruits” probably saw our sincerity in what we do and perhaps admired how we stayed above it instead of getting down and dirty with her.
Yes, the likes of Ivy Aguas (the anti-martyr are the current (current being the operative term) toast of the town for their entertaining confrontation scenes.
But it is Mona Lisa and her opposite-of-scandalous mysterious, quiet smile that has been revered and has been making an impact for centuries. 😉
Have toxic people-free 2018!!!