You Wanna Know What Love Is?

Before February ends, I want to share with you what I have learned about love in the past years.  I am in my guru mood, so pagbigyan n’yo na.

Disclaimer muna:  I’m no love expert—I hold no psychology degree, I don’t avidly attend seminars about love or relationships (never did)…heck, I don’t even read self-help books on love and relationships (or any book from the Self-Help Section in particular)!  And Randy and I still have regular shouting matches and cold wars.
Now what gives me the credibility to talk about love?  Because I have been in love with the same man for more than a decade, and I know he has been with me for a longer period of time (lagot siya sa akin kung hindi!)  It’s still a relatively short period of time for many, but it’s also a long period of time for some.  So for whatever it’s worth, I want to share with you things that I’ve learned about love for the past years, which I deem are nuggets of wisdom.  I’ll do away with the pa-awwww and pa-witty definitions of love.  Andaling i-Google ng mag yun.  But what I’ll be sharing with you are my personal realizations about love.  These are from the heart, from humbling and humiliating moments, through tears and laughters.

1. Love can’t exist without respect.  Have you ever experienced being in love with someone and yet you still fantasize about cheating?  I did.  In retrospect, I realized that I was like that because I did not respect the person I was in a relationship with.  I just felt I was in love, but because I did not respect them, I still had wandering eyes and wondering mind.  Of course those relationships miserably failed.  With Randy though, I would feel guilty and feel really bad when I cheat on him—get this—in my dreams!  Alam n’yo ‘yung sa panaginip n’yo may ginawa kayong kalokohan and in that same dream I would cry and feel anguish and fear because darn—I cheated on Randy!  Ganun.  That’s how I respect him and yes, fear him.  I guess I respected Randy because at the onset, I knew he wasn’t in this relationship just for fun.  I knew he was in it for the long haul, and he was a great catch that I didn’t want to do anything to ruin our relationship.

2. To stay in love is a decision and a commitment.  This is what many fail to realize.  You know when I was young, I used to believe that when the person I’m in a relationship with falls in love with another person, I have to let go without any anger.  In fact, I felt I had no right to get angry because hello—that’s what he feels, ‘di ba?  Mako-control ba ang feelings?!? Well, the answer is, “Yes.”  I guess the “decision” part takes a certain level of maturity, that’s why immature young ones should stay away from getting married.  And when you are in a committed relationship and you respect the person you’re in the relationship with, you actually decide to stay in love.  We should not rely on our “feelings”, because they’re very unstable.  Haller, I’ve felt like punching Randy and pulling out his hair and kicking his butt hundreds of times already.  I’m sure he felt the same way too, thousands of times pa!  There were also times we considered separating because we just hated each other so much!  But here we still are.  Why?  Because we want to make our relationship work.  We both do.  We know that the hatred we feel toward each other is fleeting, and if we let our feeling of being annoyed rule over us, we wouldn’t have lasted even for a month.  Remember, the head is above the heart.  If you let your feelings rule over your sensibilities and commitments, please don’t ever get married.  The hot-and-heavy aka honeymon period doesn’t last forever, keep that in mind!  And when it ends, marriage isn’t something you chunk almost without a fight and just say, “OK I made a mistake, but I deserve to be free and have a chance at happiness again.” [Read more…]

Bad Morning :(

Hi guys, finally, I’m back!  I really hope I’ll be able to maintain a regular gabfest with you.

So how are you today?  I hope you’re doing fine!  As for me, I’d say that this week has been pretty good to me.  Even though I had to wake up earlier than usual to drag my lethargic body to Sta. Rosa everyday and I have a lot in my mind, I’m still happy.

Why?

Because since Gymboree Sta. Rosa opened on Monday, we have new enrollees everyday.  Indeed, God is good!  Ang saya ko!  I feel that our efforts are starting to pay off.

HOWEVER!!!

Naku however, I started the day today by being super pissed off.  That’s because at past 1 a.m., my mobile phone rang, e nasa ulunan ko pa naman.  I remember that before I fell asleep, I felt at least 3 relatively strong earthquakes (did you also feel it last night?!?  Scary!!!)  So I was already worried to begin with.  Now back to the call.  I was shaking as I reached for my cellphone, anticipating the to hear the worst.  I mean, why would anyone call at past 1 a.m., if not for an extreme emergency, right?  Within a split second I was expecting news that my parents or brother had been seriously injured or God knows what!  Then I saw an unsaved number.  Shucks, baka ambulance or rescuers ito…

Me:  Hello?

My voice was groggy yet nervous.

Caller:  Kaanu-ano mo si Zion?

It was a female, mataray voice.

Me:  Huh?

Caller: Ikaw ba ang may-air?

Me:  May-ari ng ano?

Caller:  May-ari ng number na ‘to.

Me: Yes..

Caller:  Eh anong pangalan mo?!?

Me:  Bakit mo tinatanong?

Caller:  Ay mukhang tulog ka na yata.  Sige babay.

 

What the?!?  Ano ‘yun, di ba?!?

I was shaken: I was worried sick, then I got confused.  Anong nangyari?!?  It took me a while before I fell back asleep again.

 

This morning, I called the number.  After several attempts, she answered.  I wasn’t able to control myself and really expressed my anger to the caller, “Bakit ka tumawag nang 1 am?  Hindi mo ba alam takot na takot ako?  Tapos antaray mo pa!  Akala ko may nangyari nang masama sa pamilya ko!  Tapos sasabihin mo pang baka tulog na ako.  Malamang 1 am na yun!”  Then she apologized naman and said it was a mistake and she called the wrong person.

Sheesh.  I really should turn off my phone before sleeping.

Then another irritating event this morning:  for the nth time, someone dumped their garbage in front of our gate.  Again.  Siniksik sa mga halaman namin.  This has been happening almost every week.  There was even a time when they just dumped an old, thick comforter at the same place.

This time though, they left incriminating evidence.  Aside from the Jollibee takeouts and icky used sanitary napkins, in the trash are Meralco bills and even Claim Stub at a photo shop.  In the Claim Stub are her name and mobile number.  Now, we know who you are.

Buuuuut, the heavy cloud of gloom hanging over my head somewhat cleared.  To get me in the mood for an early morning romp, Randy just blurted out (while I was calling the 1 a.m. caller):  “Sweetheart, bili ka na nga ng bagong bag para sumaya ka.”

Hukhukhukhukhukhukhuk!

So I guess the rest of the day, with my filled with the prospect of having a new bag, will be full of sunshine!

These are the bags I’m salivating after: [Read more…]

Missing My Man, Mainly :)

[Draft written on Saturday, Sept. 6 in the evening]

Greetings from Cebu!!!

It’s my second day in Cebu, and I’ve just finished a Skype conversation with Randy and Raviv.  Man, I miss them so much!

 

I missed Raviv all the more after I saw him on Skype.  He’s just too cute for words!!!

 

I think this is the first time I am without any one of them at an unfamiliar place.  Although I admit that I also like these alone times with just myself, it’s palpable that I miss them both terribly.

So since yesterday, I have been double tasking:  I was drinking the sights and sounds of Cebu, while also drowning myself in thoughts of Randy and Raviv.But surprisingly, I find that I miss Randy more, actually.  Although I love my son so much, I’ve made no secret of the fact that I also long for us to travel together, alone.  Thus I keep on thinking of my husband while being on “foreign” land.  Yiheee!!!And here comes another surprise:  the thoughts I have of Randy aren’t romantic-romantic…actually, it’s his trademark sarcasm.  And as I reviewed our recent conversations, here’s what I realized about my husband:  Randy secretly loves bursting my bubble!  It’s like he knows the answers I expect of or hope from him, but then he would say something else, either because he’s unbelievably clueless or just because he want to piss me off.

To illustrate, here:

[Read more…]

How Randy Proposed

People often ask me how Randy proposed, expecting to hear a butterflies-in-the-stomach inducing story.  To their dismay, my reply is always, “Next question please!” Hehe.

Kasi naman, the proposal was the antithesis of romantic.  As in waley talaga.  I remember it was our fifth anniversary as bf-gf.  Honestly, I already had an inkling that that was when he would propose.  Since it was during the summer (where he was at his busiest–I was still working as site manager of Canyon Ranch, one of Century Property’s projects then), I somehow accepted that his proposal would be olats.  He would not have had the time to prepare for any kind of gimik. But because I know people would ask me about how he proposed, ako ang um-effort.  Since he will be fetching me from Carmona, Cavite, I suggested that we have our anniversary dinner at Antonio’s in Tagaytay.  At least kahit dry ang proposal, romantic ang lugar. Pwedeng ikwentoSo I called Antonio’s and made dinner reservations.

However, ang lolo Randy natin ay naipit sa traffic. When he reached Carmona, it was almost 8 p.m., and Antonio’s was closed at 7:30.  Hayst.  Since I knew he was tired, I just suggested we unwind at the nearby Manila Jockey Club Casino Filipino (because at that time, medyo napahilig kami sa slot machines).  But as I rode his car at Canyon Ranch before going to the Manila Jockey Club he pulled a small box.  I thought to myself, “Thiiiiz eeez eeet!”  In a flash, I tried to recall how the sales agents of Canyon Ranch described our projectrolling hills, cool breezeayun! I could romanticize the surroundings and tell people that Randy proposed to me “in the middle of somewhere cozy and private amidst rolling hills and the cool summer breeze one romantic evening”.  Then I was holding my breath as he opened the box and asked the predictable question, “Sweetheart, will you marry me?” And then my jaw dropped.  Because I had to squint to find the pebble stone set on the ring.  Hihihi.  And then later, we went to the Casino and shared a slot machine after that.  Like I said, ang anti-romantic, dabah?

(Although at the first free time we had together, we eventually headed to Antonio’s in Tagaytay.  I wanted this to be the place where Randy supposedly proposed, but no, hindi talaga eh!)

antonio's tagaytay

from-dews-camera-phone-004At Antonio’s Tagaytay.  Could you see the rock on my hand?  Hehehe.

Like I said, it really was anti-romantic. But I’m holding no grudges because in fairness to Randy, he gave me the wedding that I wanted.  Probably even more than what I wanted (I hope I’d have the time to blog about it).

fernbrook wedding

Then he gave me a super handsome and adorable son.  And now, he is being the husband and father that most women think were just products of the imagination.

So really, kebs na ba kung ano man ang nangyari sa proposal ni Randy.  If I meet a pompous woman na niyayabangan ako sa proposal ng husband or fiancé niya at ayokong magpatalo, I could always say that my husband proposed “in the middle of somewhere cozy and private amidst rolling hills and the cool summer breeze”, with matching pa-mysterious smile.  O davah?

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Anyway, the reason I remembered Randy’s proposal is because of THE proposal of Dingdong Dantes to Marian Rivera. I have long refused to acknowledge that I am a fan of the Dingdong Dantes-Marian Rivera loveteam for many shallow reasons. First, I prefer the Kapamilya over the Kapuso channel by a long mile. Second, Randy likes Marian so much that it makes me jealous. Third, affected much ako sa mga reported wrong grammar and mispronunciations ni Marian. But the not-so-shallow reason I have against them is the fact that their relationship is covered with a shroud of dishonesty. I could not get it out of my head that the two were unfaithful to their respective partners.

But their years of bliss together and engagement made everyone forget the perceived shady kickoff of their relationship. They now have this romantic “we were meant to be” story, and people (including me) have forgiven their “affair”. They were not just a pair of cheaters who just stomped on their ex-boyfriend’s and ex-girlfriend’s hearts just because of infatuation or tawag ng laman–no, they were soulmates who had to follow their hearts. Charot!

[Read more…]

All The Single Ladies!!! Here’s An Unsolicited Advice

Because girls, may aaminin ako sa inyo: suddenly tonight, I missed being single!

Don’t get me wrong, ha. I love my life, and Raviv and Randy are my life. But tonight as I read this chiclit by Emily Griffin while Randy is beside me fast asleep, I have this irrational urge to wake him up and ask, “Babe, bakit hindi ka na nagseselos ngayon?!” I’m just fighting that urge because I don’t think he’d be actually up and about to tell me something that would make me giddy and lightheaded and sleep with a smile tugging at my lips. If anything, baka (or malamang) ma-bad trip pa siya sa paggising ko sa kanya! :p

But you know what? If you are still single, you can actually text something silly like this to your boyfriend–or boylet–and he would probbly reply something that would give you butterflies in your stomach. Yiiiii! Grabe, ako ang kinikilig para sa inyo!

Actually, I have several single friends. Almost all of my close friends are in fact, still single. And when we get together, they would sometimes tell me how jealous they were of me, having a steady relationship and building a family and all. But you what my usual answer is? It has always been: “Stop panicking as to why you still do not have a wedding band on your ring finger. Enjoy your bachelorette days as much as you can. Enjoy the rollercoaster ride of emotions: remember when there’s drama, there’s kilig. And while rollercoasters make one dizzy, the heart-thumping and the adrenaline rush are nakaka-miss, promise!”

Again, let me reiterate that I’ll never exchange what I have with Randy for anything. But I’m sure other contented wives would agree with me that they also miss “the field”: the “He loves me, he loves me not” analysis, the art of flirting, and what used to be my favorite: the somewhat sadistic pleasure of making a manliligaw or a new boyfriend jealous (which often got me in serious trouble. Hehehe). Ayiii ayiii ayiii ayiii!!! Ang fun kaya nun!

Case in point, tell me what you feel when you see these photos:

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

Let me guess your reactions.  In Exhibit A, you smiled and a serene expression was all over your face. You thought that it’s what you want, and that Aga and Charlene are very blessed, etc.

Exhibit B, however, made you smile goofily. And I know you wanted to smirk at the “Jeje Royalty”, but the butterflies in yourand you could not help being giddy. Aminin!

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I know you still feel bad that he hasn’t “put a ring on it”. But to make you feel good and just enjoy every agonizing moment of waiting for his text or call, let me tell you what you will miss when you finally settle down. [Read more…]

How We Spent Our 6th Wedding Anniversary

Naku, kahit Rated PG, hindi!

Because our theme turned to be “Happy Raviv Day!”

But, I really had fun.  Promise.  Ewan lang kay Randy.  Hihi.

Days before our anniversary, I told Randy it was OK with me not to celebrate it.  After all, we have just returned from a fun post-summer outing with our loves, our Brain Train family.  But Randy is big on anniversaries and Valentine’s Days and other occasions (except for birthdays.  Baligtad kami).  He told me we have to do something.  He wanted to have a romantic getaway, but since we are barely recovering from the hectic summer, I had no time to book flights, hotels, etc.  In the end, I suggested that we just bring Raviv with us and watch “How To Train Your Dragon”.  Raviv has been addicted to it since a week before our anniversary.  In fact, he insists that he be called “Hiccup”.  As in nagagalitpag hindi Hiccup ang tawag sa kanya.  Kumusta naman ‘di ba?  And he had been watching “How To Train Your Dragon” (first part) for several nights.  And since our only vacant time was on June 28, plus the screening of “How To Train Your Dragon” was already pulled out of other cinemas, we needed to habol.  Kawawa naman si Raviv if not.  Thus, adios romantic getaway!

2014-06-28 14.15.45Raviv, este, “Hiccup” with the How To Train your Dragon 2 poster

The only cinema nearby where “How To Train Your Dragon 2” was at Festival Mall.  We arrived at Festival almost an hour before the screening.  We hurried to buy tickets and just ordered take-out—we no longer had time to have a proper lunch (like I said, ang mga ganap sa araw ni iyon ay anti-romantic).

We just ate at the cinema.  Randy got his favorite grilled cheeseburger at Kenny Roger’s; Raviv ate calzone from Sbarro; and I had hotdog burger from Jollibee.  Parang baligtad kami ni Raviv ‘noHaha!

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I immensely enjoyed watching “How To Train Your Dragon 2”.  Friends have already told me it was really good, and that it was a far cry from its already-entertaining prequel.  So I had high expectations.  But even then, it exceeded my expectations!  No scene was ever boring or dragging.  I thoroughly enjoyed every minute!  If I were to do a review of “How To Train Your Dragon 2”, I’d give it five stars and two thumbs up!  That part when Hiccup cha**eng** (so as to not spoil it to a reader who hasn’t watched) the Al**a gave me goosebumps!  I went out of the cinema feeling giddy!  I may have actually enjoyed it more than Raviv, although I could not help but fantasize how much more fun it would have been had we watched it on 4DX.

After the movie, we shopped on the third floor to buy Raviv toys from Toy Town.  I know that everyone says Raviv has already so many toys.  I think so too.  But don’t say that to Randy—he honestly believes Raviv deserves them all!  Sabi nga sa akin, “’Di ba andami mo na ring damit at bags?  O ba’t bili ka pa nang bili?”  O dabah?  So shaddap na lang tayo.

IMG_0012_2I no longer had the chance to take pictures of the action figures inside.  Car pa lang, bukas na!

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Randy rationalized that he bought the Marvel Universe gift set because it was on super sale.  In fairness, the sale price was really cheap compared with the original price:

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Ay I have kwento about Raviv’s generosity and love for his cousin: while Randy was lined up at the cashier counter, I was looking at these because I got curious: [Read more…]

Wardrobe Diary #59.1: Post-Summer Swimsuit!!! (June 24, 2014)

Guuuuuuuuys!!!  I have good news!  And bad news.

Good news:  Randy allowed me to put some Club Punta Fuego pictures wearing my white swimsuit here!!!

Bad news:  Ito lang ang in-approve niya:

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[Read more…]

Happy 6th Wedding Anniversary, Randy!!!

Dear Babe,

Again, thank you so so much for your wonderful pre-wedding anniversary present”S” (with an “S” talaga!)  I was really blown away.

Today is a very special day.  Because on this day six years ago, we promised each other—in front of more than a hundred people and God—that we will love each other until our last breath.

wedding at fernbrook gardens

facebook greeting

I vividly remember when our relationship was struggling—when everyone was against us.  I was really down and you texted me a promise—you promised that time will come that your problem will be settled, and that everyone will envy “us”.

Our early days

Today, I am reminded of your promise again.  I can’t even remember your wedding vow to me, but I remember that promise you made to me.  Because you stayed true to your words.  I don’t know about the “everyone”, but if I were an outsider, I’d definitely envy—or at least want to be—us.  Because after all these years, after everything we have gone through, after almost spending every waking (and of course sleeping!) second with each other (we work and live at the same place!), we still can’t get enough of one another.  Aaaand, pareho tayong hindi pa losyangHindi man tayo fit na fit (pareho tayong may tiyan; ako malaki pa nga ang hita) at may sumusulpot nang fine lines tayo, (dahil hindi naman tayo suki ng derma) but definitely, puno pa tayo ng asim. Winking smile

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These superficial reasons may be the reason why I often see comments like this:

[Read more…]

Wardrobe Diary #58: The Nanay on Father’s Day (June 15, 2014)

Father’s Day this year was “celebrated” in a way that couldn’t have been better for Randy than how we spent it: the entire Familia Ladaga with some friends went to a Philippine Canine Club, Inc. (PCCI) dog show, where Khaleesi and Khal Drogo joined.  This was quite a big deal for us because it was the first time after a long time that Randy’s dogs were gonna join a dog show again.  It used to be that Randy and I were a common sight during dog shows.

Vanguard during a dog show, with handler Mario Palicpic

But after Randy’s dobermann Vanguard got his Philippine Champion title; after we sold my winning pug, Whirlwind; and after our weekends became so hectic, we no longer joined dog shows.

But now that Randy renewed his interest in bull mastiffs and took the plunge to import two bull mastiffs from reputable bull mastiff breeders abroad, it was expected of us to be back. Smile

From past experiences, I knew that dog shows not done inside malls mean lagkit and pawis galore.  I remember the times when I would even ask our dog handler to talk to the shi-tzu and poodle handlers to give me some of their dogs’ powders (Johnson’s Baby din naman).  Moreover, Raviv was coming with us (and would ask to be carried).  Thus, I chose to wear something an ensemble that’s cool and frill-free, never mind that it may be dowdy.

Here’s the Nanay on Father’s Day at the PCCI Activity Center in Marikina City:

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[Read more…]

Happy Father’s Day, Tatay Randy!

One of my worst fears is Randy’s early demise from this world.  We have been together for more than a decade, and since then we have almost never parted.  I just know I’d be a basket case if I were to lose him.  But you know what my greater fear is?  It’s that Raviv would lose him.  Just thinking about it makes me want to bawl.

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Raviv loves his Tatay so, so, so much.  And with a good reason.  Everyone who sees Randy with Raviv is always in awe.  The strict, workaholic businessman would “squander” his precious time learning the names of the aliens in Ben 10, just so his son would know what to shout when Raviv slaps his Ben 10 watch.  My Tita, upon seeing Randy with Raviv, even quipped (in her Tiaong-in accentWinking smile ): “Ay grabe si Randy ano?  A-a.  Bilib na bilib ako sa tiyaga sa pag-aalaga at pag-e-explain kay Raviv.  Kainaman ang galing sa bata!”

Last summer, I remember phoning Randy (who was to sleep in our place in Sta. Rosa while Raviv and I were in Los Banos).  Before saying goodbye, Raviv wanted to talk to Randy.  Of course, Raviv said nonsense things.  And then they said goodbye.  Less than 30 seconds after hanging up, Raviv said he wanted to talk to his Tatay again.  So we called him again.  Then came the nonsense  conversation.  Randy gently told Raviv he has to hang up because he was busy.  They said their goodbyes.  And then Raviv insisted on calling Randy again.  Same nonsense talk, then goodbye.  Then Raviv called again, they talked about the same nonsense things, and then goodbye.  This cycle was repeated for at least six times.  At one point, I was telling Raviv to stop because his Tatay was busy and might get mad at him for disturbing his Tatay.  But Randy interrupted what I was saying and told Raviv, “No Raviv, I’ll never get angry at you for wanting to talk to me.”  Randy was in loudspeaker then, and Yaya Gigi was listening.  Gigi was blown away by what she heard and said, “Ah grabe talaga ang pag-love ni Sir kay Raviv Ma’am, no?”  Summer is always a very busy time for us, especially for Randy who not only teaches but manages everything in between.

[Read more…]