Acts 16 : 31

I should be working now but I can’t.  I am so down.  Ironic, because in my last post I was expressing how very happy I was.  But I got a phone call early this afternoon with terrible news.  Dears, ibigay n’yo muna sa akin ‘to, ayoko munang i-share.  Baka naman (sana!) wala lang.  What’s holding me together now is God’s promise.

Acts 16:31, New International Version (NIV)

31 They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.”

Anyway, I’m trying to be positive today amidst the negativity.  For one, I’m looking at this as an opportunity to rekindle my fire to be in His presence, just like what happened with Raviv before.  These past days I’ve been backsliding…this is probably brought by the fact that I haven’t been attending weekly Bible studies.  The schedule of my group went from Thursdays to Saturdays and you all know how crazy my Saturdays are.  But I hope I’ll be able to attend again.  You know, attending these groups are a lot of help.  When you’re in a pickle, your group mates would not give you just ANY kind of advice but advice that’s from the Lord.  Your fire for the Lord also shines more brightly every meeting as you hear and witness how God works in your group mates’ lives.  Being a Christian is tough—your group mates are there to cheer you on and remind you that everything is worth it.

Anyway, to keep my mind off that problem, I took time to check messages on Facebook that I have not opened since my birthday.  And as usual, they cheered me up.  Truly, when the going gets tough, kind words from appreciative people keep me going.  The gloominess in me was diminished.  For one, I am surprised again that my blogging makes several people happy.  I blog because it’s really therapeutic to me—it’s an outlet for me to take whatever’s on my chest:  extreme happiness, extreme anger, extreme loneliness…whatever!  And after blogging I usually feel a lot better.  Ergo when other people express how my blog also relieves their stress, I feel an extra surge of glee.  So indulge me in sharing with you the messages I opened today that made me feel my special day is far from over yet.

bday roi Roi, I feel happy too that you eagerly await my new posts.  Thank you so much!!!

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When God Parted Our Red Sea (Part 3)

continued from When God Parted Our Red Sea (Part 2)

The next day (Wednesday), we brought you to Asian for an available anesthesiologist to check you.  The anesthesiologist who checked you was so very nice (too bad I forgot her name!  I’ll try to check who she is).  She looked so gentle and compassionate.  She cleared you and asked why you were to undergo an MRI.  She told me, “Pray lang kayo.”  Again, I felt God’s presence in her.  She even praised your nose, “Grabe ang tangos ng ilong!” she said.

Feb. 3, 2012

Dear Raviv, 

That Wednesday night (Feb. 2, 2011), you slept with your Yaya Michelle (she was your first long-term yaya–she was a gem!  Too bad she had to leave to care for her own children) and Ate Alona.  This was because your Tatay and I had to sleep well for we will have to wake up early to bring you to Asian.  Still, I kept getting out of our room to check on you…I can’t sleep fitfully without you by my side.  Moreover, I had to make sure that your last feeding would be four hours away from your scheduled sedation (I pumped my breastmilk).

At 1 a.m. on Feb. 3, 2011, I rose and checked on you.  You underfed yourself–you didn’t finish your normal bottle, and this was supposed to be your last feeding!  This had me worried: ever since you were born, you’ve always had a voracious appetite!  Infants are supposed to feed every 3-4 hours, right?  But in your case, you start wailing for your milk less than two hours after your last bottle, begging to be fed.  You were such a pleasant baby, but when you’re hungry, all hell broke loose!  You cry loudly and start kicking!  Thus I was worried, because that was supposed to be your last feeding and yet for some reason you dud not finish it!

At around 4 a.m., we roused you from sleep.  I was so nervous of waking you up, because when you wake up you usually ask for your milk.  We tried to feed you water (which was OK up to two hours prior to the sedation), but you refused to.  To add insult to the injury, the onesie I prepared for you to wear was already tight (it was the first and last time you were able to wear it), and we had trouble putting it on you.  I was panicking that you would be irritable, especially because you were supposed to be very hungry…but you were not!  I started to be amazed…little miracles were already taking place!

The onesie Raviv wore (for the first and last time) during “THE day”

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When God Parted Our Red Sea (Part 2)

continued from When God Parted Our Red Sea (Part 1)

…A few hours after, she came.  I told her about what the neuro-pedia said.  She told me to pray, and I told her I didn’t want to because I think it’s futile.  She explained to me that God wants us to ask from Him, to put our faith in Him, to be closer to Him.  Before Li’Ann left, she laid her hands upon your lump, and we prayed.  That jumpstarted my deeper relationship with Him.

Jan. 31, 2012

Right after Li’Anne left, I started to pray.  Other relatives called, and I still cried whenever I talked about it.  But then when I was alone, I’d pray again.  I finally took you from your nannies, looked at your face, touched your lump, and prayed while I cried.

The following morning (Sunday), we were able to get your X-ray, urinalysis, and CBC results.

Urinalysis, X-ray, and CBC results

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